The Secret to Letting Go of Expectations

I recently shared a video on my Facebook Page about the problems people have with letting go of expectations. So many times in my life, I have found that my expectations don’t line up with reality.

When this happens, letting go of expectations that are no longer serving your best interest is the way to go. But, just how do you go about that?

The Secret to letting go of expectations is in the power of surrendering. Personally, I find that when I totally surrender myself to my creator, I am able to let go of my need to control the situation, and surrender control to the Creator, and I often find that this helps me to find alignment with my true purpose.

When I first found out about my daughter’s disability, before she was even born, it was a devastating day.The Doctor basically told us that our daughter had no chance of surviving the pregnancy and that we needed to abort immediately.

It was heartbreaking!


After getting home from the doctor’s office, I sat down in meditation and prayer. Through that time of meditation, I felt like despite the evidence in front of us, I had to totally surrender not only her development in pregnancy, but her entire life.

I had to totally  commit myself to going with what happened, and surrender the course of her development to my Creator.This included accepting that her life and her death would serve a greater purpose than my desires to have her happy and healthy.

Through this simple act of surrendering all control, I have been able to face extremely difficult circumstances, and embrace constant changes to our schedules, learning new techniques for her care, and master life on a new level.

I had studied this phenomenon before, but never really applied it to my life. Now, I am using it more and more in other aspects of my life as well.

By surrendering, I have no expectations and therefore, I don’t get all bent out of shape with every little thing that goes wrong. In fact, usually when I do get upset, its because I am in and area that I still haven’t worked through surrendering yet.

After all, I am not where I want to be with the rest of my life on that yet. But, Im better at it now than I used to be.

How You can Surrender to Let Go of Expectations

So, after this experience, I have tried to figure out a process that you can follow to work on surrendering your life and letting go of expectations that are out of alignment with your purpose.

When you follow these simple steps, you can stop the expectations that are causing problems in your life and begin living with a mind that is open to everything and closed to nothing. It takes time at first, but the more you put it into practice, the faster you can work through the steps to transforming your expectations and letting them go.

Step 1: Acceptance

Begin by accepting that this is something outside of your power to control. All too often, people spend way to much of their energy trying to control things that they really don’t have the ability to control. Once you accept that you can’t control the situation that you are facing, you can let go of the attachment to the outcomes that you don’t want.

Step 2: Give a New Meaning to the Situation

One of the reasons that we have the expectations that we do is because of the meaning that we give to things based on our past experiences. Once you can rephrase the meaning that you give to the situation that you are in, you empower yourself to change what you expect out of it.

For me, it has opened a lot of doors. Had I not had the experience of letting go, and followed the advice of the “experts” all around me, I would never have been able
to share beautiful pictures like this one:

Once I accepted that her life was out of my own hands, I had to face the idea of her mortality, which also made me face my own. In a way, she helped me overcome the fear and worry about death, which has freed me from many limitations that I had in my own life.

Step 3: Release All Fear

Fear is the cornerstone of all negative emotional attachments. One of my teachers once told me that there are really only two emotional states: Fear and Love.

The two cannot  exist in the same place at the same time. So, if you want to embrace unconditional love  and let go of things you cannot control, you have to release all fear and all negative emotions that you feel towards the situation that you are facing. As you work through this process, doubt and worry will rear their ugly heads. These are just low energy expressions of fearful thinking, and give you signposts of need to work on in order to fully surrender.

Letting Go of Expectations Is Not an Instant Solution

As you go through this process for letting go of expectations, you will find it easier and easier to let go of things more quickly. However, it can take time. Hopefully these ideas will help you to face your challenges and let go of the frustrations that are getting in the way of your own happiness.l

About James Pruitt

James Pruitt is an author, blogger, and speaker in the areas of personal balance, personal growth, and creating inner peace. He has studied and worked with people since 1994 in the areas of spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical balance and healing. Check out more at

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